


sweet where you lay

by alison



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Dom/sub, Hand Jobs, Kink Discovery, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rimming, Service Kink, Sexual Content, Under-negotiated Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 13:15:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2733953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alison/pseuds/alison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>“No, listen,” Harry insists. “I really like doing things for you. </em>I<em> like it.” He stares at Nick like he's saying something important, but Nick isn't quite following. “Like, nothing makes me happier than making you happy. Nothing makes me feel better than making you feel good. It's not, like, completely selfless? I absolutely get something in return.”</em></p><p>nick feels guilty with harry because he feels like he's taking too much. harry desperately wants to give it to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sweet where you lay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rumpledlinen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpledlinen/gifts).



> rumpledlinen: i went the porny route. i apologize if this isn't what you had in mind, but i tried to incorporate a good deal of kink negotiation. i wish i'd had more time to give you a longer story detailing their complete journey but i do hope you like what i was able to write! (also i so, so badly wanted to give you ladyfic but i'm afraid i'm not at all experienced in writing it. sorry, love!)
> 
> huge thanks to my great pal for reading it over and offering moral support. also many thanks to my other great pal for britpicking.
> 
> now for some **additional warnings**! tagged topics play a major role in the story but there are also brief _instances_ of nipple play, hair pulling and pain kink. brief _mentions_ of choking and bondage.
> 
> and one last note: this is set in 2012. harry is eighteen.

It's possible that Nick feels guilty.

He's always wondered why it's so different with Harry, why Nick always feels himself holding back. He's not one to be shy or nervous in bed, so it threw him off when he and Harry first slept together and it's been throwing him off ever since. The sex is fantastic, but it still feels slightly off. Nick is still holding back.

He thinks it's guilt, the feeling he's trying to decipher. Harry is young and fucking gorgeous and Nick reads too many things online about how he's “taking advantage” of the boy. It's getting to him a bit and he finds that he can barely look down at where Harry's sucking his cock to perfection, can't even reach out to touch him. He likes Harry and he _wants_ him, of course he does, but there's guilt in the wanting.

“Does that feel okay?” Harry asks, concerned, when he slides off of Nick's cock for a moment, his voice raspy and eyes watering from taking him too deep.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick assures him, smiling. “Feels incredible, I promise.”

Harry gives his cock a few slow tugs, his big pretty eyes looking up at Nick. “You sure? I could change something if you want. Whatever you- d'you want to fuck me maybe?”

Nick shakes his head quickly, finally reaching down to stroke his thumb over Harry's cheek. “No, love, this is perfect. Just like this.”

Harry hesitates before nodding and dropping back down, pink lips parting around him. He sucks enthusiastically, always makes it so good, and Nick's cheeks flame with something other than lust.

It's guilt, he's sure of that now. He'd never wanted to corrupt the boy and now Harry has Nick's cock pressing into his throat, the perfect picture of corruption. And the worst part is, it's getting Nick off.

“Gonna come,” he mumbles, letting himself touch Harry's jaw, his fingers skimming the smooth skin to his neck. He comes, feeling Harry's throat muscles work to swallow under his fingertips, then looks away, cheeks red.

This wasn't his plan at all.

-

“Hey, you okay?” Harry asks the following evening, tapping his foot against Nick's thigh.

Nick snaps his head up, having gotten lost in his thoughts. “Wha- yeah, I'm fine,” he says, pasting on a smile.

Harry's frowning over his bowl of almonds, head tilted in concern. He clearly doesn't believe him, scooting closer to Nick until he's half in his lap. “Anything I can do?” He asks, bumping his nose against Nick's jaw.

“You don't have to do anything,” Nick insists quickly since that's the opposite of what he needs. He doesn't need any more reason to feel guilty.

“I _like_ doing stuff for you,” Harry murmurs, still nuzzling at Nick's jaw. “Something's bothering you. Let me help.”

Nick closes his eyes, feels Harry's lips pressing kisses along the column of his throat. He tips his head back and tries not to get caught up in the feeling, but it's too good. Harry's too good and Nick is a greedy bastard.

“Babe,” he chokes out without moving away. “I can't- I don't-” He's not sure how to end those thoughts, not sure what he wants to say.

Harry pulls away then and when Nick opens his eyes, the boy looks worried, lips curved down and eyes big. “You can't what?” He asks, frightened.

Nick feels more guilt then and he responds quickly, wanting to ease his worry. “It's nothing bad, it's not- I'm not ending this or anything,” he says, but Harry's frown doesn't go away. “Listen, it's just,” he says, sighing. He may as well just say it now, get it over with. “It's just that I feel guilty with you sometimes.”

Harry blinks, then squints his eyes, confused.

“All the time, actually,” Nick amends before he can reply. “I feel a bit like I'm- I'm being selfish, I guess, because you're, you know, young and so fucking sweet and I'm just. I'm not those things.”

Harry's expression doesn't change, still confused, and he leans over to set his bowl of almonds on the coffee table. “So because I'm younger than you,” he starts slowly, head tilted thoughtfully, “you feel like you're taking advantage?”

Nick shrugs. “Sort of, yeah. The age thing is a big part of it, but it's not everything.” He twists his hands in his lap, looking down at them. “Like, you always want to do things for me and you never ask for anything in return and I don't know how to handle that. It's overwhelming and I feel guilty because you're too good to me. It doesn't even out.”

After a moment, Nick looks up, seeing Harry chewing on his lip, gaze lowered to the floor. It takes a bit, but he finally speaks, more softly now. “I like doing things for you,” he says, then takes a deep breath and looks up.

“I know, but that's the problem-”

“No, listen,” Harry insists. “I really like doing things for you. _I_ like it.” He stares at Nick like he's saying something important, but Nick isn't quite following. “Like, nothing makes me happier than making you happy. Nothing makes me feel better than making you feel good. It's not, like, completely selfless? I absolutely get something in return.”

Nick sighs, wiping at his face. “But, see, that's just you being a good person, liking doing things for other people.”

Harry hesitates for a moment before replying, the words coming out slowly. “It's not just me being a good person, Nick,” he says with certainty, then pauses, looking away. The next bit is quieter, almost shameful. “I- I get off on it, you know?”

Nick freezes at that, everything seeming to flip around in his brain. He forgets everything they've said up to now in an instant, the only thing in his brain being that _Harry gets off on doing things for him_. He doesn't even know what that means, but he sure as hell wants to find out.

“You get off on it,” he repeats dumbly, studying Harry, who hasn't met his gaze yet. “Care to elaborate on that?”

Harry's blushing now which is adorable and Nick sort of likes being the one to make him do that. It's fucked up, maybe, that he likes seeing Harry uncomfortable but Nick can't control his brain enough to shut that off.

“Like, you know how sometimes I suck you off? And I don't want you to do me in return?”

Nick nods immediately because there have been several times that's happened and it always makes him feel a bit shit, honestly, not being able to help Harry out, too.

“Well, a lot of it is just because I like sorting you out, knowing there's nothing in it for me,” Harry says, glancing up, cheeks violently pink. “It feels good, knowing I'm just doing it for you. But also, sometimes- a few times, I mean,” he stammers, looking away again. “A few times it was because I'd already come in my pants just from sucking you off.”

Nick is pretty sure his jaw drops then, but he can't be certain because his whole body feels numb. Harry came- _in his pants_ \- from giving Nick a blowjob. And Nick didn't even _notice_.

“Please don't think I'm a freak,” Harry says quickly, cringing. “It's not just that, it's like. Anytime I feel like I'm doing something to make you feel good. Like, remember when I gave you a foot massage a couple of weeks ago? And then I ran off to shower afterward? I was wanking because I got hard while- oh, bloody hell, this isn't making me sound like less of a freak, is it?”

Nick's eyes sting from being open so wide. Harry looks like he's about to have a panic attack and Nick can't get it together to comfort him, just feels frozen.

“You got hard from rubbing my feet?” He asks weakly, his throat dry.

Harry's lip is back between his teeth and he's jumpy, shrugging and looking past Nick's shoulder. “I just like doing things for you,” he says, sounding miserable. “I like when you let me.”

What feels like hours pass, when it's probably just five minutes or so, before either of them speak again. Nick finally remembers how this started, his guilt, and he's not sure how this fits in. Of course he wants to make Harry happy and apparently Harry is happy when he's making Nick happy but it all feels strange. Nick isn't sure he can wrap his brain around it well enough to let go and just let Harry do stuff for him. He can't just take, take, take, and not give anything back. Even if Harry says he likes it, that doesn't feel like enough to Nick to ease his guilt.

“Can we talk about this again later maybe?” Nick finally asks. “I mean, I promise I don't think you're a freak. Let's make that clear. I just need some time to think?”

Harry nods, but he doesn't look happy at all, head dropped down and fingers nervously tapping against his thighs. “Alright, yeah.”

Nick frowns, shaking away his shock from Harry's confessions and he reaches out to pull the boy closer. “Hey, love,” he says softly as he gets Harry tucked up against his side. “You're not a freak. And I'm not letting you go, alright? I like you too much.”

When Harry tilts his head up to look at Nick, there's hope in his eyes, mixed in with the worry. “Promise?” He asks in a whisper.

Nick smiles and dips down, kissing him softly. “Promise. We'll figure all this stuff out. Just, another day, yeah?”

Harry's response is to wrap himself around Nick in what feels like a vice grip disguised as a hug.

-

As the days pass, Nick is hyper-aware of it. When Harry asks if he wants tea, when he tidies up Nick's bedroom, when he offers to bring over takeaway. Nick can't help noticing, can't help how much he thinks about it, wondering if these are the things that Harry gets off on. Or maybe it's just specific types of things; Nick still doesn't know because he hasn't brought it up since that night.

It's probably not a big deal and he's blowing it out of proportion in his head, but he's still nervous. He's not sure how to reconcile his guilt with this new thing, with Harry wanting to do things for him.

A few days after the Talk, they're cuddling on Nick's sofa, watching telly, when Harry cuddles a little closer, pressing his face into the curve of Nick's neck. Nick just hums happily and gives him a little squeeze, but then Harry's hand is moving to rest on his crotch, gently rubbing his dick through his trousers.

“Can I sort you out?” He asks softly, a hint of nervousness in his tone.

Nick bites down on his lip, eyes flicking down to look at the boy's hand rubbing him. “You don't have to,” he says, still not really sure how he feels about all of this.

“I know that,” Harry replies. “But can I? Do you want me to?”

Nick doesn't ever not want Harry, is the thing. He's already growing hard under the boy's careful touch and he needs it, hasn't had more than a quick wank in almost a week.

“Yeah,” he finally says, looking away. “I do but only if _you_ want to.”

Harry's already working at getting his cock out by the time Nick finishes the sentence and he tries to relax, tries to remember that Harry _likes_ this. He's not sure that makes him an okay person, letting himself take it, but at least he knows Harry likes giving it.

“I wanna make you feel good,” Harry mumbles, pushing Nick's pants down enough to pull out his cock. He wraps his fist around it and starts pumping in slow movements, then rests his head against Nick's shoulder, looking down at his hand. Nick glances down himself before closing his eyes, sighing.

“Does feel good,” Nick offers, deciding that at least he can show his appreciation for Harry doing this for him. “You're so good at that.”

He can't see it, but he feels the way Harry's cheek dimples against his shoulder, feels the smile erupting on Harry's face. “Thanks,” he replies softly, happily. “Just- just relax and let me take care of you, okay? Do you need anything else?”

Nick drops his head back, knowing they have to talk about this- and _soon_ \- but he lets himself enjoy it for a moment. “Nothing else,” he answers. “Just this is perfect.”

He sinks into it, letting himself focus on Harry's hand sliding over his cock, slow and steady, the perfect grip. It feels better than most handjobs he's received and he wonders if part of that is this whole dynamic they're working up to. He wonders if he gets off on Harry being- well, sort of subservient. And then he wonders if that makes him a shit human being and he stops thinking altogether, not wanting to worry about that now.

“So good, babe,” he murmurs, breath hitching when Harry plays with the tip of his cock, swirling his thumb over it, getting it messy with precome.

“Do you want my mouth?” Harry asks in a whisper, curling closer until his face is almost pressed against Nick's neck. “Or anything else?”

Nick shakes his head lazily, eyes still closed. “No, love, I can come just like this.” He senses the change in Harry immediately, the way the boy seems to tense up, and Nick thinks he knows what he's said wrong, correcting himself before Harry can speak up. “I _want_ to, babe. I _want_ to come like this.”

By the way Harry relaxes against him, Nick knows he was right. “You're sure?” Harry asks quietly.

Nick nods, finally opening his eyes and looking down at Harry's hand on his cock, watching his focused movements that feel so fucking amazing. “I'm sure,” he insists. “Wanna come right in your hand, alright?”

That seems to be enough encouragement and Harry nuzzles against him again, flicking his wrist as he pulls at Nick's cock. When the boy squirms against him the first time, Nick barely notices, too caught up in how good it feels. But then Harry squirms again, puffing out a shaky breath against Nick's neck. That's when Nick notices and puts it together.

“Are you hard?” He asks breathlessly.

Harry nods against him, whispering, “Really hard.”

Nick can't see because of their position but Harry's body language says it all, the way he can't sit still, the tiny breathy whine he releases. Nick wonders how he didn't notice it in the past, wonders if maybe Harry used to try to hide it and now, since Nick knows, he's not trying so hard.

“Don't come,” Nick says, feeling so close himself. “I want to help you out, okay? Don't come yet.”

He's not sure what he's expecting, maybe for Harry to insist that he doesn't need Nick to do him in return, but that's not what Harry says.

“Don't come,” he repeats to himself, and his body goes still. “Okay, I won't.”

The realization that Harry likes being given an order hits him only a moment before his orgasm does and he squeezes his eyes closed tightly as he spills into Harry's hand. He can't focus on the revelation as he comes, but when he's finished, boneless and slumping into the sofa, he brings the thought back.

Harry likes doing things for him. Harry likes being given an order. Fuck.

“Was that okay?” Harry asks next to him, eyes big.

Nick shakes away his thoughts and looks at him, smiling. “That was incredible, love,” he says, lifting a hand to brush Harry's hair back. “You do that so well.”

Harry blushes, ducking his head to hide his smile, and Nick keeps combing fingers through his hair until he has enough energy to move.

“Can I take care of you now?” He asks, waiting for the answer.

Harry nods, lifting his gaze enough to look up at Nick through his lashes. “If you want,” he says, almost shyly.

“I do want,” Nick replies, smiling. “I very much want. Do _you_ want?”

Harry seems to hesitate, looking away as he thinks. “If you really want to, but- but I could wait?” He glances to Nick nervously, chewing his lip again. “You could make me wait? Do it later?”

Nick pauses, searching for the right words, then says them uncertainly, feeling Harry out. “You mean, tell you you're not allowed to come yet?”

Harry visibly shudders as soon as the words are said, so Nick is pretty sure he was right. “Yes,” Harry says, nodding quickly. “You could tell me that.”

Nick has to take a deep breath, to center himself before he can focus his brain. Since the sex is apparently over for now, he tucks his softening cock back into his pants and zips up his trousers, preparing himself for the conversation. When he's put together, he turns on the sofa, facing Harry.

“Okay, what else can I do then? What else do you want?” They have to talk about this now, before they can go any further with it.

Harry shifts uncomfortably and, when he leans his shoulder into the back of the sofa, Nick can see the outline of his cock in his jeans, straining against the fabric. It can't be comfortable and Nick feels lightheaded for a second, thinking about what that means, about the fact that he _wants_ it to be uncomfortable.

“Promise that you won't, like, laugh at me? Or think I'm weird?”

Nick sighs, reaching out to squeeze Harry's knee. “Well, it's a little late for that, babe. Already think you're weird, don't I?” He says, trying to lighten the mood. “But of course I won't judge anything you're into. I won't think you're weird because of what you like sexually.”

Harry gives him half a smile, clearly nervous about it, but nodding anyway. “Alright,” he says quietly, then wipes his palms against his thigh. His hand bumps into Nick's and he slips their fingers together, holding on. “Alright, so you know I like doing things for you.”

“Mhmm,” Nick agrees, squeezing his hand. “But can you be more specific about what types of things?”

Harry looks thoughtful as he considers that, resting the side of his head against the back of the sofa. “Most things, I guess,” he says slowly. “Mostly, like, household type things? Like cooking and cleaning, stuff like that? I like feeling like I'm- of service, I guess. I like-” He hesitates, his cheeks flaming even deeper pink. “I like serving you,” he finishes, quiet as a whisper.

Nick's stomach flutters so violently that he has to close his eyes for a moment. “Okay,” he chokes out. “So, do you want me to ask you to do things more? Or- or order you to do them?” He tries not to cringe, but he's honestly not sure how he feels about any of this, particularly ordering Harry around. “How do you see it in your mind?”

When Nick looks at Harry, he's biting his lip again, but not in the same way. It's not just nervousness now; he's turned on at the thought of it. “You could do both,” he says, shrugging like he's trying to hide how badly he wants it. “I like the second one a lot,” he adds in a failed attempt at sounding casual.

It's not that Nick doesn't want to do that, but the idea of being anything like cruel with a boy as sweet as Harry makes him uncomfortable. He's not sure he can be mean, even if it gets Harry off.

“What if I give the orders nicely?” He asks, wincing because he doesn't want to disappoint Harry. “I know I'm kind of an asshole sometimes, but I just can't picture myself coldly barking out orders, you know? I don't want-”

“No, that's good,” Harry interrupts quickly, nodding. “I'd like that. I'd like- I really like it when you tell me I'm doing a good job. I like being praised when I do well.”

Nick breathes out a sigh of relief at that. He can tell Harry how wonderful he is all day long, so he's glad he'll still be able to do that. “Good, good,” he says, smiling. “I like doing that, too.”

Harry smiles back and, for a moment none of this seems that scary or nerve-wracking. It doesn't seem like such a huge deal and Nick lets himself lean forward and kiss the boy, keeping it short because he knows they're not done discussing this. When he starts to pull away, Harry chases after it, eyes closed, and Nick chuckles, kissing him once more before leaning back entirely.

“So,” he says, shifting his fingers between Harry's and giving a little squeeze. “What about actual sex things? I know you like getting me off without getting off yourself. Is there more?”

Harry seems to have relaxed a bit, not _quite_ so embarrassed and shy when he shrugs this time. “I'd like orders then, too, I suppose,” he replies, looking down at their hands, twined together on Harry's knee. “Like, if you told me what to do and how to do it? I'd like that. Honestly, if there's anything you wanted to do to me or with me, I'd probably love it.”

Nick frowns at that, recoiling a bit. “No, no,” he says firmly, shaking his head. “If you expect me to order you around in bed, I need specifics. Not just _anything I want to do._ ” When Harry drops his head, Nick sighs and scoots closer. “Babe, this is- it's a lot, you know? I'm not sure it will be easy for me and I need to be absolutely sure that if I'm telling you to do something, it's something you _want_ to do. That's the only way I'll be able to do this.”

Harry leans into him then, lifting his arms to wrap Nick up in a hug. Nick kisses the side of his head and rubs his back, waiting patiently. He's not even sure how comfortable he'll be with ordering Harry to do something he _does_ know the boy likes. The words he's read online still flash up in his brain sometimes: _he's just a teenager_ , _it's creepy_ , and most importantly, _he's taking advantage_. Nick has never ever wanted to take advantage. He hadn't made the first move, hadn't even reciprocated anything for a long while. But when Nick had finally kissed Harry and the younger boy's face lit up, it didn't feel like taking advantage, not until he started second-guessing himself.

“I like sucking your dick, obviously,” Harry mumbles into Nick's shoulder. “And being fucked by you and normal stuff like that.”

Nick rubs his back one last time before pulling away, feeling like they need eye contact for this. “Okay,” he says, nodding and waiting for more.

Harry curls against the sofa, looking past Nick as he thinks. “I think I'd like being held down, maybe even tied down,” he says without meeting Nick's gaze and okay, Nick thinks, now they're getting into some bigger stuff. “Maybe teased? Being touched without being allowed to come? I think I'd really like that.”

Nick takes a deep breath, nodding. God, this is a lot.

“I have a- promise you won't think I'm a freak?” He asks mid-sentence, looking up at Nick with worried eyes.

Nick crosses his heart. “Promise.” It's an easy promise to make. Even if the stuff Harry tells him is overwhelming and a bit scary, Nick would never think he was a freak.

“Okay, well, I have a cock ring?” He says, cheeks flushing again. “I like to use it sometimes by myself, but maybe we could use that? To keep me from coming?”

Nick tries to swallow but his throat feels swollen shut. He thinks it's possible that other parts of his body are swelling, too, but he's trying to ignore that. “You use it by yourself?”

Harry nods, looking away. “Sometimes, yeah. I'll get myself hard, then put it on? Like, force myself to be good and not touch for a certain amount of time before I get to come?”

Nick's eyebrows lift in surprise before he can force himself not to react and Harry looks up just in time to see it. For a split second, Nick thinks he's going to cry, his face absolutely falling, but he just drops his head again, blushing.

“Hey,” Nick says firmly, reaching out to lift Harry's chin until their eyes meet. “I don't think you're a freak. _At all._ I'm surprised because this is- this is really new information, okay? And, like, it's hot,” he says, deflating a bit. “I think it's fucking hot and I feel guilty for thinking it's hot and I'm just trying to deal with it, but you are _not a freak_ , alright?”

He can't stop picturing Harry now, at home alone with his cock all red and needy, poking up against his belly, cock ring securely in place. Maybe writhing against the bed, wanting to come so badly. He can't imagine the self-discipline it would take to not just reach down and take it off. _That's_ what makes him understand how important this is to Harry.

“Tell me more, babe,” he says softly, encouraging Harry to go on. “I want to know.”

He _needs_ to know, to make sure they're on the same page, but now it's more than that. Now he wants to know all of the dirty things Harry wants, the things Nick is not only allowed to do, but the things Harry wants him to do.

“Okay,” Harry says, giving Nick a wobbly smile.

Nick likes him so much. He wants to give him everything he wants. He wants to try, anyway.

-

After a half hour of talking, Harry has given him several things to go on. Nick has even pulled out a notepad to jot down a vague list of _do's_ to make sure he doesn't forget. If they're going to do this, he wants to do it correctly.

_-not being allowed to come_

_-being held/tied down_

_-nipple pinching/biting_

_-hair pulling (not too hard)_

_-plugs_

_-lots of dirty talk_

_-choking_

Nick is very much not sure if that last one is even possibly something he could do, but Harry'd said he likes when he takes Nick's cock so deep into his throat that he can't breathe and he wouldn't mind trying that with Nick actually using his hands to choke him. If they do end up trying that one, it will not be anytime soon. Nick might just have to draw the line, though, and take it off the table.

“Okay,” he says, looking down at his list and drawing a horizontal line under it. He writes _don'ts_ under the line, then sets the notepad down and looks at Harry, reminding himself not to phrase it like a question. “I'd like you to go make us some tea,” he says, trying to sound sure of himself even though he really isn't. “Milk and sugar, please. And then we'll talk about our limits.”

Harry appears to shiver a little, a smile blooming on his lips, and he practically trips over himself to get off the sofa and hurry into the kitchen. It's kind of adorable, really, and Nick thinks maybe. Maybe he could be just as into this as Harry is. Or, at least close.

The boy comes back a few minutes later with a tray. On it are two cups, the pot of tea, a small bowl of sugar, a jug with milk, and a little plate of biscuits. It's almost overwhelming, knowing how careful Harry's been to do it right, to make sure he's done a good job.

“This is perfect,” Nick says, looking over the spread as Harry sets it down on the coffee table. He looks up as Harry straightens, standing in front of Nick like he's waiting to be told if there's something else Nick needs or if he's relieved. The bulge in his jeans hasn't gone away or, if it has, it's back now, his cock pressing so desperately at the tight material. Nick can see a small spot at the tip of it, the material stained where he's leaked through. His mouth practically waters, wanting to lean forward and put his mouth over it. Some other time, maybe. Right now they still need to talk.

“Come here, come sit down,” he says, patting the cushion next to him.

Harry moves quickly, dropping down into the spot and Nick smiles, leaning in to give him a kiss. “That was very good,” he murmurs, his lips grazing Harry's. “Very good boy.”

Harry actually giggles at that, accepting another kiss before Nick pulls away, grinning. He loves seeing Harry happy like this, knows that all of this will be more than worth it. Just like Harry feels good making Nick feel good, Nick is happy when Harry is happy.

When the tea is poured and they've both had a few sips, Nick sets his down and picks up the notepad again. “Alright, limits,” he says decisively. “What would you like to put in the _don't_ column?”

Harry tucks his feet up under him, his body curled in around the cup of tea in his hands. “I never really thought of it before,” he says, shrugging.

“Well, think of it now,” Nick urges gently. “We can add to it later, of course, but think now and tell me what comes to mind. Surely there are some things you don't like.”

Harry thinks for a long moment, face all screwed up in concentration. “I dunno, like, probably nothing you wouldn't do anyway? Like, I don't want to be whipped or anything.”

Nick writes it on the notepad even though he knows he could never whip Harry. “Okay, what else?”

“Uhh,” Harry says deeply, thinking. “I guess I don't want you to be mean? Like I don't want you to say mean things to me?” He twists his lips thoughtfully. “I've seen some porn where the dom sort of degrades the sub? I don't want that.”

“Oh,” Nick breathes out, eyes going wide. He hadn't even thought of it, hadn't even really realized what they were doing and now he feels a bit of an idiot. “Oh, I- yeah, okay. You're my sub? And I'm- fuck, alright,” he stammers, feeling even more an idiot.

Harry looks sort of surprised, eyes big as he looks over at Nick. “Oh, I thought that was obvious,” he says, voice quiet. “I'm sorry. Is that- are you sure that's okay? We don't have to use the words if you don't want. I just did some looking around online and that's what the websites called it.”

Nick melts a tiny bit because Harry has obviously been thinking about this for a while, maybe even since before he met Nick. And now he's letting Nick be a part of it, _wants_ Nick to be a part of it, and that's sort of a big deal.

“No, love,” he answers softly, reaching up to cradle the boy's cheek. “No, we should use the words.”

Harry smiles shyly and Nick kisses him again, soft and quick, before he turns back to his notepad and writes _being mean_ in the _don't_ column. That one will be easy.

“And, like, I don't know if it's something you'd do, but,” Harry says, hesitating. “I just want it to be us. I don't want you to share me or let anyone watch or anything.”

Nick is vaguely horrified that Harry would think he even _possibly_ would do that, but he'd asked him to be honest and he's glad he's saying it. “Of course I wouldn't. I never would without asking and I won't even ask now that I know. Just us, I promise.”

Harry nods shakily, looking uncomfortable. “I just know that's kind of common and it freaks me out. In fact, I don't even want you telling anyone about this if that's okay?”

“Absolutely,” Nick says sincerely. “That is absolutely okay. This stays between us, promise.”

Harry breathes out a long breath, seems relieved about that. Nick scribbles down the last notes on his list, then sets it to the side and pulls Harry into his lap. Once Harry's straddling his thighs, Nick smiles up at him, pulling him down for a quick kiss.

“Unless you have other things, I think we ought to put a pin in this,” he says, Harry's forehead coming to rest against his. “We'll start easy, yeah? I'll need some time to adjust anyway, so we'll just start off kind of simple?”

Harry looks pleased by that, murmuring, “yeah,” before he drops down to kiss Nick again.

This kiss isn't so quick this time and as Nick parts his lips, letting his tongue sneak out to flick over Harry's, he can feel that Harry's still hard where they're pressed together. He figures they have to start somewhere and now seems as good a time as any. Besides, all this talking about kinky sex has gotten Nick going again, too, his cock starting to take serious interest after having rested a bit from his last orgasm.

“We should go to the bedroom, love,” he says, pulling his wet lips off of Harry's. “But first, I want you to clear this up for me, alright?” He gestures to the tray Harry'd brought in. “Put the biscuits in a bag so we can have them later.”

Harry listens closely, nodding along attentively.

“Good boy,” Nick says fondly, reaching up to give Harry's nipple a soft pinch, just testing it out. It's not that he's never played with Harry's nipples; he just usually sticks to licking and sucking. But even with the pinch being as gentle as it is, Harry sucks in a sharp breath, his back arching into it like an invitation.

“More after you've tidied up,” Nick agrees, petting Harry's side. It feels sort of natural, honestly, and Nick isn't sure if he's glad for that or if he's ashamed it's so easy. “Meet me in the bedroom when you're finished,” he says, finally scooting Harry off his lap and turning to head into the bedroom.

It only takes a couple of minutes before Harry is walking into the room, hands folded in front of him. Nick stays seated on the edge of the bed, smiling as Harry moves closer.

“Hi, love,” he says, breathing out heavily. “We're not gonna do anything extreme tonight, but we'll have to come up with a safeword for next time. For tonight, you can just say no if you don't want to do something, okay?”

Harry nods, biting his lip. “Yeah, okay, I will.”

Without a safeword, Nick feels uneasy giving commands, so he hopes what he has in mind is enough to make up for that. “Want to take off your clothes, babe?”

Harry moves so quickly to get out of his clothes that Nick can't help but laugh, chuckling softly as Harry kicks off his jeans. His pants are tented and _wet_ , though, and that sucks some of the humour out of the situation. When Harry slides them off, Nick gets a good look at his pink cock, stiff and probably aching from being so hard so long. Nick vaguely wonders how quickly he would come if given a bit of friction.

“Good,” he praises, leaning forward to kiss Harry's stomach, then his hip. “You don't want to come yet, right? Want to be good and wait?”

Harry releases a little whine above him, but it's immediately followed by a breathy, “Yes.”

Nick smiles and presses one more kiss to Harry's skin, just an inch or so from the base of his cock, before he stands. “I'd like to fuck you,” he says, looking into Harry's eyes. “And I'd like you not to come until after I do. Does that sound like something you want to do?”

There's still some guilt there, some worry that he's corrupting Harry in some way, but Harry's the one who brought all this up. Harry's the one who teases himself with a cock ring, he's the one who's been looking this stuff up. Nick isn't sure _he's_ the one corrupting Harry. He's also not sure that's a bad thing, honestly. It's just part of life. And while Harry may look innocent, he _is_ eighteen. He's an adult, a man, and he can make his own decisions.

“I want that,” Harry says so seriously it makes Nick's insides twist. “I want that so much, _please._ ”

Nick takes his time with it, getting Harry spread out on the bed, kissing over his skin. He finds the lube and covers his fingers before sliding them into Harry's body, one at a time, watching in awe as the younger boy takes him so eagerly, writhing against the bed. He murmurs constant praise, wanting Harry to know how beautiful he looks, his big cock so hard and wet against his hip and his face red, lips stretched wide around throaty moans.

When Nick finally gets to rolling a condom onto his own achingly hard dick, Harry is impatient, grabbing at Nick to try to hurry it along.

“Hey, hey, wait, babe,” Nick says as Harry tries to pull him closer while he's slathering his cock with lube.

“Want you,” Harry mumbles back, his legs spread wide.

Seeing an opportunity, Nick leans down over Harry, looking him straight in the eye. “Have to be patient or I won't let you come at all.”

Harry's eyes actually roll back at that and Nick smirks proudly. Maybe he can do this. It feels good, feels _right_ to take charge like this.

He pushes in slowly, watching Harry go lax as he stretches around Nick's cock. Sex with Harry has never been disappointing, but it feels sort of new now. Nothing's really different, but there's still a change, a shift between them. And Nick's guilt is slowly easing away.

“How's that feel?” Nick asks, remembering how Harry had said he really likes when Nick talks to him during sex. He feels a bit bad now because he's been fairly quiet in bed up until now, too worried that he's doing something wrong to get into it enough to talk dirty. He'll have to make up for it now.

“God, _big_ ,” Harry breathes out, head thrown back. “So big and- and amazing.”

The lines of his body are incredible, long torso stretched even longer, legs bent up, one curled around Nick's waist, almost locking him there. He looks so good that Nick feels faint.

He drops a hand to Harry's chest, his cock almost completely buried, and he finds Harry's nipple, closing his fingertips around it. As soon as he pinches down, Harry whimpers loudly, his arse clenching down on Nick's cock enough that Nick nearly blacks out. That's good to know, he thinks, making a mental note.

“Sensitive there, yeah?” Nick murmurs as he starts thrusting slowly, giving Harry time to loosen up. He keeps playing with Harry's nipple, rubs his thumb over it and rolls it between his fingers.

Harry sucks in a sharp breath, nodding against the bed. “I am, yeah,” he answers around heavy breaths.

Nick is overwhelmed at how Harry's body opens up for him, takes him so willingly. He's so pliant and Nick feels powerful in a way, feels like Harry is his. That's the point of all this, he supposes, but it still hits him in the moment, how much control Harry is giving him.

“You feel so good, love,” he breathes out, his hips starting to pick up the pace. He fucks in, feeling the tightness of Harry's hole, the thick warmth inside. His cock is being squeezed so tightly, so perfectly, and he already feels close.

Harry starts whining and gasping with each thrust as they get faster, heavier. Nick looks down and sees the mess of precome on his stomach, sees how desperately Harry must be holding on, trying not to come. He's been hard for ages. Nick is beyond impressed.

“Don't come yet,” he reminds him, pinching Harry's nipple hard and quick.

Harry cries out, his body lifting off the bed and causing Nick's cock to shift inside him. Before long, Harry is shaking with it, hands on Nick's shoulders, digging into the skin.

“Being so good,” Nick praises, his breath starting to stutter as he gets closer to the edge. “You're doing so, so well, babe.”

Harry is speechless below him, eyes wet as he looks up at Nick with parted lips. Nick dives down to capture them, kissing him as hard as he's fucking him now, enough to make the bed creak. When Harry sobs into Nick's mouth, the noise is muffled and Nick swallows it, breathes it in like oxygen.

“So close,” Nick says, lips still smashed against Harry's. “Gonna make me come so hard, baby.”

Harry's hips lift up at that, jump off the bed and somehow Nick manages to catch them, slipping an arm under the boy's bum to hold him up in the air, never slowing his thrusts. When he pulls away from Harry's mouth, he sees tears smearing across his face and Nick wishes they'd decided on a safeword, but it's too late anyway. Nick is coming just like that, pounding into Harry's arse, lifted above the bed, and watching as his chest heaves with need.

“You okay?” He grits out once his orgasm starts to fade off, allowing him barely enough brainpower to get the words out.

Harry nods vigorously, takes a moment to get the words out, but then says, “Good, I'm good, I- can I come now?”

Nick is too sensitive to keep fucking him, so he slips out with a heavy sigh and fusses with the condom with shaky fingers. If he's being honest, he takes longer than he needs to just to draw it out because Harry is writhing, legs spread and cock still so hard, as he waits impatiently. Given how long he's been waiting, though, his patience level is actually admirable.

“Flip over,” Nick says once he's got the condom tied off and tossed aside.

Harry follows the order immediately, turning over and propping himself up on his knees. His thighs are actually trembling.

“Flat on your tummy,” Nick clarifies, gently pressing down on Harry's back.

When he's got Harry lying on his stomach and Nick is knelt between his spread thighs, he drops his hands to the boy's bum, squeezing his cheeks. Then he swiftly drops down and buries his face in Harry's arse, spreading his cheeks enough to lick him out.

The reaction is lovely, Harry's body jerking and a loud cry ripping from his lungs. Nick works his tongue over Harry's loose hole, slips it inside easily and laps at the soft walls inside.

“Nick,” Harry says, choppy and desperate. “Oh, god, can I?”

Nick fucks his tongue in a few times before pulling back enough to say, “You can come, it's alright, go ahead and come for me,” before diving back in.

Harry's body quakes under Nick, his muscles fluttering so perfectly around Nick's tongue, and it only takes a few seconds before he's there. He sobs as he comes, literally sobs, his voice wet with tears and his body wracking with it. Nick feels his arse muscles squeeze down on his tongue, clenching around it, and knows his sheets are bound to be soaked now.

He licks him through it, maybe even past it, addicted to the taste of him. When he finally pulls away, Harry is limp and twitching, stretched so long across the length of Nick's bed. Nick drops a kiss to the boy's bum, feeling the softness of his skin under his lips, then crawls up next to him.

“Hey, you alright?” He asks softly, smoothing a hand down the length of Harry's spine. His skin is pale and imperfect but Nick still sees perfection.

Harry finally lifts his head a moment later, turning to face Nick without moving. “Fuck,” he breathes out, eyes big and pupils dilated. His cheeks are red and splotchy from being pushed into the pillow and also from having his ass licked out and coming almost violently, probably. They're still a little wet, too, but drying up. “That was-” He stops, shaking his head a little, then drops it against the pillow, looking up at Nick.

“Good, yeah?” Nick asks anxiously, his voice whispered. “It was good?” He thinks it was and he's pretty sure it was good for Harry but he's not sure it was everything Harry had in mind. The boy's clearly been thinking about this for a while, so maybe it didn't live up to his fantasies.

Harry looks soft and sweet, his eyelids drooping as he looks up at Nick, a slow smile forming over his lips. “It was perfect,” he finally says over a sigh. “Thank you for this. I owe you so much.”

Nick shakes his head, but bites back his disagreement. It's absurd, the thought of Harry _owing_ Nick, as if Harry is the one getting more out of this than Nick. It's ridiculous and stupid, but Nick stops to think about it, wondering if it could be possible. Nick's spent so long feeling bad about letting himself have Harry, but maybe he really doesn't need to. Maybe he never has because Harry gets something out of it, something more important than just physical pleasure. Maybe this is what he really needs and Nick shouldn't feel guilty about being the one to give it to him.

It's not the type of thing he can just shake off in one night, but Nick thinks he gets it, that this isn't Harry being _corrupted_ , it's more like him being set free.

With a smile, he leans down and presses his lips to Harry's in a gentle kiss, smiling when the boy hums into it. “Should we change the sheets before bed?” He mumbles against Harry's mouth.

“No moving,” Harry replies. “Only sleeping.”

And, just this once, Nick does what Harry says.

-

In the morning Nick wakes up alone, the space next to him empty and stained with dried come. For a moment he panics, but then he hears movement from the kitchen, pans clattering and the telly softly playing the news.

Nick crawls out of bed and heads straight into the bathroom, having a wee and brushing his teeth before he walks toward the noise. In the kitchen, Harry appears to be making a fry-up, the smell of bacon and sausage wafting through the air. When he looks up and sees Nick walking toward him, he grins brightly.

“Good morning!”

Nick chuckles hoarsely and kisses him, then leans back against the counter to watch him work. “You know, I didn't tell you to do this,” he says, lifting an eyebrow.

Harry just rolls his eyes. “I know that,” he says, flipping a sausage as the eggs sizzle in another pan. “Not everything I do for you is about sex. Sometimes I actually am just a nice person.”

“I knew it,” Nick says, smirking. “I knew it all along.”

Harry rolls his eyes, but never stops grinning as he continues to cooks their breakfast.

After they've eaten, Harry tries to wash up, but Nick steps behind him and kisses his neck before reaching up to tangle his fingers into Harry's hair. _Not too hard_ , Harry'd said, so he grips it and pulls back gently, just enough for Harry to feel it.

“You can do that later,” he says, nipping his teeth at the curve of Harry's neck.

Harry shivers, dropping the dishes in his hands. “Okay,” he agrees without hesitation, his head pulled back and his throat stretched long, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows.

Nick kisses his ear softly. “Good boy,” he whispers. “Now let's see just how good you can be.”

A thrill runs down Nick's spine as Harry whimpers loudly and tries to nod as Nick holds onto his hair tightly, not allowing him to move. He'd feel guilty all over again if he was getting off on bossing Harry around, but he's not. He's getting off on the fact that it gets _Harry_ off which is a very different thing.

He wants to give Harry what he wants, maybe even needs. If that includes having delicious food served to him and some of the best sex he's ever had, all the better. But that's not really what it's about and Nick thinks he's just about done feeling guilty for taking it.


End file.
